@ManvAlcohol: I'm just saying, if I were a bomb maker, I would make all the wires the same color.
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@CrissySpeaks79: My 7 year old son told me "You're the most beautiful mommy ever!" I asked him what he did and where's he hiding it.
@DanTaylorAuthor: Me: *gets in from fishing trip* Girlfriend: did you catch anything? Me: *sighs* just an old boot Girlfriend: okay, what's she called?
@hipstermermaid: "500 Days of Summer" was pretty good for a movie I was expecting to be about global warming.
@RamblingMachine: You think your spouse loves you?Put them & a dog in the trunk of the car for a day. When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you?