@MAngelo505: I'm Lactose Intolerant, which means I rarely find missing children.
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@ScottLinnen: Riding up in the elevator with a bunch of children. So much screaming & crying. You'd think one of them would ask me what the hell's wrong.
@Carmel_Coleman: You're more likely to find something when you're not looking for it. Right now, I'm not looking for a bunch of cash. I hope this shit works.
@Reverend_Scott: [shows up 2 hours late for interview] Sorry I was trying to get out of a beanbag chair.
@topaz_kell: "Your bathroom has better lighting for selfies" wasn't a good enough excuse for my surprised neighbor getting out of the shower. So uptight.