@LikChan: I’m laughing way harder than I should for this image.
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@ohen39: me: I'm gonna spend valentine's day alone doctor: no you're not me: *blushing* are you asking me out? doctor: no. you're dying
@HollyMemphis: Friend: "I just blew a speaker in my car." Me: "Which kind?" Friend: "Motivational."
@TheToddWilliams: [date] ME: Tell me about yourself HER: I love good listeners and Fred Astaire ME: That's weird HER: What is? ME: Being afraid of stairs
@jonnysun: GOD: [reviewing solar system] hmm… i'll give it 5 stars EARTH: [imediately starts screamig due to masive gravitational pull of 4 new stars]