@Storminika: I'm lazy, though. I get down to my last outfit before washin anything. You'll see me at a bar with a wedding dress on, just chilling.
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@trainwreck1000: General Contractor: Don't worry ma'am, everything will be ready, we'll have the scaffolding set up and erected. Me: *mutes phone* hahahahaha
@aveuaskew: The only cat like reflex I possess is turning and staring at the wall when you talk to me.
@WilliamAder: Me: Sweetie, I think these wireless headphones you got me are defective. Wife: Those are earmuffs.
@mishakey: I can tell a police officer is gay by the way he writes me a ticket instead of letting me off with a warning.