@libbycwatson: i’m like a biiiird / i wanna shit on cars
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@bingowings14: My mum tells me that she turns the internet off when she goes to bed, incase you're wondering why your screen just went blank.
@FadeAway2: Guys, women can spot another woman at 10 paces and tell you if she's wearing 5" or 6" heels. She knows exactly what, 6"+ looks like.
@TheRolo: Wife: I think we need a break. *Titanic crashes into iceberg* Husband: THAT WHAT YOU WANTED? Wife: Yes.