@LilFlaOrange30: I'm like a cartoon character, not because I'm cute or funny, but because I wear the same clothes every day.
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@omgthatspunny: Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.
@ArfMeasures: [Bar] HER: I want to have sex so badly ME: [trying to impress her] I am so bad at sex
@woodmuffin: Please stop praying for my grandpa u are making him too strong. He broke out of the hospital & cops say their tasers don't work on him :(
@ActualPerson084: FREE IPAD FOR ANSWERING A SIMPLE SURVEY. 1) WHERE DO YOU LIVE? 2) DO YOU OWN WEAPONS? 3) WHEN ARE YOU MOST VULNERABLE? #NIGHTOFTHEFREEIPAD