@BGH70: I'm like the mafia to my son.
He only contacts me when he wants money or protection.
@Marlebean: When I die, I want people to think back lovingly about me and say "oh, I thought she was already dead"
@ashleycrem: I'm getting really irritated. This is the tenth ATM I've been to in the last week that's had "insufficient funds".
@jimmy_sharpe: For lunch today I ate three lunches.
@dafloydsta: [commercial for salad]
Do you want to feel sad when you eat?