@MariyaAlexander: "I'm liking where this is going" I said, pointing to a potato chip making its way toward my face.
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@YeahDrewisOn: Me: Damn girl your new selfie is awesome but isn't it a bit late to zombiefy yourself? Her: What's zombiefy? Me: ...Your hair looks great!
@HavocMantis: FACT: When a dog barks at you, it's actually their skeleton barking. PROOF: I have never seen a dog without a skeleton bark.
@awkwardphilippe: ME[David Attenborough voice] Starting with the outer layers he'll devour the entire carcass HER: are you narrating yourself eating lasagna?
@ValeeGrrl: My daughter called Neapolitan ice cream "three-way" ice cream & I'm not sure I'll correct her cuz I'm a horrible person & it makes me laugh.