@BuckyIsotope: I’m listening
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@sliver_of: I can't commit to plans with friends who wear fitbits. -"No, I don't want to take the stairs again, you psycho."
@Sickayduh: "What's that?" - My new boss. He's very deciduous" "Decisive?" - Nope. I carved him from a potted tree. *squirrel peeks out of his mouth*
@ShesARealGenius: *Asteroid is hurtling toward Earth* ESPN Broadcaster: This asteroid could have an enormous impact on the playoffs.
@VerbsRProudest: If I could time travel, I'd grab English major me in college & say, "Look, books will nourish your soul but take an appliance repair class."