@SteampunkMuppet: I’m literally crying
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@Reverend_Scott: I don't understand how people in the Walking Dead are living in the zombie apocalypse and they still look more well rested than I do
@WildeThingy: Video Games made me do it. Rock n' Roll made me do it. Witches made me do it. Satan made me do it. - a short history of responsibility
@fillthevacuum: Pro tip: The Labor Day weekend is a great time to start drafting your Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas tweets.
@THEDUTHCHESS: Day 1 of being kidnapped. Kidnappers are now offering my husband a ransom to take me back. Husband is asking for more money.