@robdelaney: I'm literally typing this from atop a giraffe in Ghana. Her name is Coriander & we love each other.
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@StinkyGr33n: I don't mean to brag, but I'm extremely talented with my lips and tongue. *Whistles The Andy Griffith Show theme song flawlessly*
@YesImMatt: When people's driving tweets end mid sentence, did the paramedics find their phone and hit send?
@QwertyJones3: Hangin with my peeps at the club. Biting their heads off, one by one. Enjoying their marshmallow deliciousness.