@robdelaney: I'm literally typing this from atop a giraffe in Ghana. Her name is Coriander & we love each other.
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@WhatsHerFace33: "Operator, run this licence plate please Echo Alpha Tango Alpha Delta India Charlie Kilo" - Me, if I was a cop on the day I got fired.
@iamspacegirl: [answering door on halloween] NEIGHBORHOOD MOM: please stop giving the children hamsters ME *hands full of hamsters*: but it's Halloween
@Wussawilla: Remember when you first joined twitter and you had no idea how to RT or what favstar was and remembered what your family looked like?
@RobDenBleyker: Spider-Man reboots should start with the previous actor biting the new one as the origin story.