@motorace177: I'm looking for a girlfriend that likes me for my money, but is really bad at math...
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@GaryJanetti: Thinking of adopting a child. What color should I get? Keep in mind my walls are eggshell and cinnamon.
@bombscribe: I just unlocked the "My House Was Robbed Because I Checked in on Foursquare" badge on Foursquare!
@joeldanger: My parents told me as a kid that R&B stood for ribbons and bows so when I heard Barry White in their bedroom I left them alone to do crafts.
@robcorddry: Batman's an example of a guy who took his parents double homicide and made lemonade