@slimmy_shady: Im making a fortune promoting home security systems.All I do is say "Hello".At 3 in the morning sitting at the end of their bed.
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@EndhooS: Wife: He's always lying about his celebrity connections.. Therapist: Is this true? Me: Just wait til Sonic The Hedgehog hears this bullshit.
@CatherineLMK: Shaking hands is so weird: "Nice to meet you, have some germs and dead skin cells."