@ShaunRightNow: I'm married, yet the only person that willingly goes down on their knees in front of my crotch is a 72 year old suit tailor named Pablo.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: Coworker: I never would've guessed you're in your 30's. You look so young. Me: I'm old at heart.
@RunwayDan: "What's your name?" "Who's your daddy?" "Is he rich like me?" These "reset your password" questions are getting kind of weird.