@ShaunRightNow: I'm married, yet the only person that willingly goes down on their knees in front of my crotch is a 72 year old suit tailor named Pablo.
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@Reverend_Scott: Dog: WHAT IF I'M HERE ALONE FOREVER Dog 911: WHAT WILL U EAT Dog: probably eat the cat LOL Dog 911: LOL
@BlondieBGbb: Just read "four years after pregnancy 38% of moms still were not drinking" I think it's safe to say this survey was not done on Twitter.
@Fred_Delicious: [gets found guilty of murder] [sentenced to 3 years of listening to Pitbull on repeat] [appeals] [gets sentence reduced to lethal injection]