@deardilettante: I'm meeting a man I really like for drinks. If I play my cards right, he'll be deleting my number in a few hours.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheFunnyWorId: Wanna talk about Sodium? Na Nitric Oxide? NO Oxygen Magnesium Phosphorus Iodine Sulfur or Fluorine? OMg PISS OFF ...Potassium? K
@Danny_McH2O: I met a girl that told me, "Make me laugh and I'm yours". So I pulled down my pants. Apparently, she didn't want to laugh that hard. :(
@robfee: I wish boxing was like wrestling so when the ref was distracted Manny Pacquiao would run in & hit Floyd Mayweather with a Stone Cold Stunner
@sarcasticmommy4: Before you have kids, practice yelling "GET UP NOW OR I WILL TAKE YOU TO SCHOOL IN YOUR PAJAMAS!" & see if it's right for you.