@deardilettante: I'm meeting a man I really like for drinks. If I play my cards right, he'll be deleting my number in a few hours.
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@iwearaonesie: the hardest part of your wife going into labor is everyone interrupts the movie by asking questions
@Book_Krazy: [Doctors appointment] Me: It hurts when I go like this. *gets up and leaves and goes to work*