@DadandBuried: I'm more comfortable hearing my five-year-old repeat swear words in public than I am hearing him say "uh-oh!" from another room.
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@longwall26: Scary: A wolf chasing you Scarier: A werewolf chasing you Scariest: A werewolf with a clipboard chasing you
@FatherWithTwins: 7yo: Daddy, I love you too! Me: Aw, I love you too! 7yo: No, I said "I love YouTube"
@nachosarah: the only reason you should be showing me pictures of your kids is if they're missing or you want them to be
@Book_Krazy: *Condom Co* [ok, don't let them know ur a frog] "Any ideas how we can make our condoms more pleasurable for her?" ME: Ribbit "Genius"