@tropicalenvy: I'm more hampster than gangster according to autocorrect
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@mstluvstrinkets: Playing play doh w/ 3 is just her ordering me to "make elephant! Now teapot!" As if I have the artistic ability to create more than a ball.
@causticbob: I was 14, my dad caught me drinking. 'Dad, that's the first time' 'That's a lie, no one ever gets caught the first time.' So I robbed a bank
@IamEnidColeslaw: my favorite game is called "Secret Family." I go to the movies & sit near a group of strangers & pretend they love me