@tropicalenvy: I'm more hampster than gangster according to autocorrect
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@tigersgoroooar: Yesterday CNN reported that "sitting will kill you, even if you exercise" and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but living will kill you.
@dorsalstream: [kids fighting in the back seat] ME: I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL PULL OVER AND START A PODCAST RIGHT NOW IF YOU 2 DON'T CUT IT OUT.
@amishschool: Fitness guru just tweeted "remember to breathe" and it was pure luck that I got the message in time.
@WilliamAder: Do those "selfie sticks" retract, or do you just have to walk around like a doofus with a stick all day?