@jane_bot: I'm more likely to wear a donut on my wrist than any fitness tracker.
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@MafiaJoker78: New neighbours just moved in... I baked them some goodies as a welcome & a warning to never eat at my house.
@cpabry: Pal - "Can you help me put this IKEA desk together?" Me - "I'll need a screwdriver." Pal - "Sure what type?" Me - "Greygoose or Kettle One."
@Parentpains: Sorry I can't attend your Facebook event, I'll be busy throwing myself off a cliff that day.