@jane_bot: I'm more likely to wear a donut on my wrist than any fitness tracker.
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@markydoodoo: [eraser factory] BOSS: what makes u think ur right for the job? ME: *hands him blank piece of paper* I think my resumé speaks for itself
@BigPlanetEarth: People are like books. You can't judge them by the outside and it's not cool to burn a big pile of them.
@CulturedRuffian: My favorite part of riding an elevator is staring at my phone while avoiding eye contact with the person I just tried to close the doors on.