@jewfacekilla: I'm my own boyfriend when it comes to farts
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@djdarrellripley: My mom has a rule that we do nothing on Christmas that Jesus didn't do. Apparently, Jesus drank a pitcher of martinis & hit on the caterer..
@caliluvgirl77: [introducing myself to new boyfriends parents] "Hi, I usually don't make it this far"
@ixSEANxi: Ya know those scenes where the guy shoves everything off the table and throws a woman on it yeah I've only done that with pizza