@jewfacekilla: I'm my own boyfriend when it comes to farts
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DurtMcHurtt: Hobos are like cats, they'll let you pet them until you stop feeding them cat food.
@notshivi: The year is 2075. A student asks how World War 3 began. The teacher responds with "Well, James Franco and Seth Rogen made a movie..."
@Cheeseboy22: Parenting tip: If your kids are fighting in the back seat of the car, stick your arm over and swing it around a bunch. That'll show em'.
@jergarl: 8: Daddy can we go to a haunted house tonight? Me: You spent the night at Grandmas last week. 8: What? Me: Nothing. 8: I'm telling mom.