@Chumpstring: I'm my own worst enemy, but there are literally hundreds of people tied for second place.
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@hurlarious: [INT. STARBUCKS - DAY] Me: Theres a large rat in the bathroom Barista: ? Me: A large rat Barista: ? Me: THERES A VENTI RAT IN THE BATHROOM
@kimwilliamz: When somebody I blocked gets RT'd into my timeline it's like they're violating their restraining order.
@Jen_Up_: 4: can you whistle? M: *whistles* 4: Here's a booger. M:... 4: Keep it forever. Have kids they said. It'll be fun they said. Liars.
@Tw1tter_K1tten: It's weird that on this date in Back to the Future they didn't show people incessantly posting about Back to the Future.