@PaigeKellerman: I'm never a more ineffective parent than when I accidentally make threats that rhyme.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@sixthformpoet: Q: What's worse than finding a horse's head on your pillow? A: Realising the horse is alive and well and how much did I drink last night?!
@JohnLyonTweets: Hope you enjoy my new song, "Part of This Song's Title Is in Parentheses (For No Reason)."
@pork_steaks: "Was this car tested on animals?" "sir animals can't drive" "will this car enable animals to drive?" "No" "SO YOU DID TEST IT!" "god damnit"
@gerryhallcomedy: My son used to check under the bed for monsters. So once I hid under there - so he'd see me and laugh. Anyway, child therapy is pricey.