@PaigeKellerman: I'm never a more ineffective parent than when I accidentally make threats that rhyme.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BlackJerms: At Twitter HQ J: Users haven't complained in a while, what's going on? Devs: Oh, we've got just the thing *releases update
@SabotagedSmoke: Tried to challenge the guy in the stall next to me to a thumb war, now he's holding my hand & crying about his childhood. I need to wipe.
@Parentpains: If six years of marriage has taught me anything its that couches are surprisingly comfortable to sleep on.
@shutupmikeginn: While you guys were wasting your time talking about politics I got banned from the Yahoo Answers 'Horse' section