@PaigeKellerman: I'm never a more ineffective parent than when I accidentally make threats that rhyme.
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@TitansHomer: Wife: What's the Harlem shake? Me: I don't know, I think they sell them at Burger King?
@TheMichaelRock: Me: Excuse me, where are your nails that twist? Worker: You mean screws? Me: I don't know, I'm not a nail scientist. Worker....
@weinerdog4life: Side Effects May Include: upset stomach, diarrhea, a tail, some hooves, ok so you might turn into a horse