@Tuna_Lover: I'm never at a loss for words when I'm drunk. I just can't pronounce most of them and I make up three or four new one's.
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@tedtheboi: Bae: Come over Me: Do you have food?? Bae: My parents aren't home Me: Are they coming back with food??
@marveljedi: when pennywise said “i’m not real enough for you? it was real enough for georgie” i was like damn alright PETTYwise that was uncalled for
@Ygrene: Oh man almost forgot the trash *takes trash out, a nice little sushi place* This is great *sees wife there with the recycling* WHAT THE HELL
@man_spach: My car ran out of gas in a trailer park and now I have the most expensive home in the neighborhood.