@Tuna_Lover: I'm never at a loss for words when I'm drunk. I just can't pronounce most of them and I make up three or four new one's.
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@vanderheydensax: Me: Got any baby aspirin? Clerk: No, we're out Me: *Slides two aspirin bottles together. Plays Marvin Gaye* Clerk: Sir– Me: DON'T RUSH THEM!
@shariv67: I'm the most bashful person in the world, until you get me on the dance floor. Then I become the most bashful newborn giraffe in the world.
@adriennekhals: Worst day. Had a tampon behind my ear all afternoon and still cant find my cigarette.