@theNuzzy: I'm never gonna tell the person I'm meeting up with that you said hi.
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@verycleverruse: Me: this doesn't seem right Dentist: u know on tv when they say 9/10 dentists M: yeah D: im the one *he resumes hitting my teeth w/ a comb*
@Alex_N_Chains: I think it's obvious that Goo Goo Dolls and Lady Gaga should do a side project together and call it Goo Goo Gaga.
@AristotlesNZ: If the fate of the world ever depended on me opening a new plastic grocery or produce bag in under a minute, we'd all be dead.
@vanderwangwe: Her: Are you even listening to me or are you just tweeting? Me: Yes sweetie, I hate her too.