@juliussharpe: I'm never more nervous than when I tell a doctor what I actually eat.
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@silvertongue37: My ex wife recently told me I run away from my problems. Apparently not far enough.
@KalvinMacleod: [at job interview] It says here that you are very hands on. Yes, sir, I am. Can you give me an example of this? *gently caresses his face*
@SteveSuckington: If aliens are supposed to be so much more advanced than us, how did ET not know about texting?