@juliussharpe: I'm never more nervous than when I tell a doctor what I actually eat.
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@mylifesuckers: Husband: Let's talk about it when we're not tired and cranky. Me: So, in like 18 years?
@stacieooooo: You'd think a baby would make the perfect paperweight, but this one keeps rolling off my desk.
@juliussharpe: If Mary Poppins floated in on an umbrella today, they'd shoot her out of the sky with a drone.
@truegritrumble: (People Touring My House 50 Years After I Die) TOUR GUIDE: And over here we found a second secret room ALSO full of bacon.