@envydatropic: I'm no auto mechanic but I'm pretty good at letting people who drive behind me know whether or not they need new brakes
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@Elizasoul80: [slashing food truck tires] friend: wtf are you doing?! [running away with arms filled with tacos] YOU COMIN OR NOT?!
@bea_ker: *blood everywhere* "What kind of ANIMAL would DO this?" Well, that's a gazelle Jeff, so probably a lion *to other ranger* Jeff's new here
@girlposts: having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house
@GrantTanaka: So when she enters, just start playing & then she'll NEVER accuse me of being boring in the bedroom again, got it? Naked Mariachi Band: SÍ