@nojeshua: I'm no fan of Smokey the Bear. He's just the first step on the slippery slope to vigilantism.
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@ianduhig: "I am the ghost of Christmas Future Perfect Subjunctive: I will show you what would have happened were you not to have changed your ways!"
@ZombieProblms: Zombies never bite hipsters. They taste fine. We just don't want to spend eternity hearing them say they became undead before it was cool.
@SteveSuckington: [first date] "You're not into anything weird right?" -not at all *gestures to my ferret army to fall back*
@stealingyergirl: [first day as a psychic] Boss: You're fired. Me: Man, I did not see that coming. Boss: And now you know why.