@llvvzz: I'm no longer interested in self-discovery; I'm more interested in self-medication.
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@therealeatwood: Did you see saw? I saw Saw. You see Saw II? I saw Saw II too. Going to see Saw IV? I didn’t see Saw III, what am I going to see Saw IV for?
@Ristolable: *gives joke answer to daughter's 75th consecutive question* [20 years later, she's in an office] "Everyone knows the moon was built in 1973"
@ibid78: My N'Sync tattoo? I got it to remind me not to make impulsive decisions based on fleeting trends that I'd regret for the rest of my life.