@llvvzz: I'm no longer interested in self-discovery; I'm more interested in self-medication.
@RocketRankoon: I trick people that I know Spanish by quoting fragments of Spanish songs I know, la bamba.
@jordan_stratton: Laser hair removal? Uhhh, why would anyone with laser hair ever want to get it removed?
@NoChillPosts: BAD LUCK LUKE
@TheMichaelRock: We'd probably have a lot less crime if superheroes would stop making movies all the time.
@robdelaney: Walking around Houston airport taking iPads from unattended kids. I have 4 so far.