@thejessbess: I'm no scientist, but I don't think it's possible for EVERYBODY to be kung fu fighting.
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@realHamOnWry: Two men came to the door asking if I'd found Jesus. I had no idea he was missing and I suddenly got nervous thinking I might be a suspect.
@Papa_Mex: I hate it when the neighbor's dog gets out because I accidentally pick the lock on their gate, leave it open, and put down a trail of food