@JennyJohnsonHi5: I'm no super genius, but I bet the most effective way to lose "baby weight" is to have the baby.
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@daemonic3: [1st date] HER: I love the idea of marriage. What are your thoughts on it? ME: [trying to impress her] I have 6 wives
@Reverend_Scott: I have a great story to tell u. "Why don't u just go write a book" Wow, that's- "Don't u dare say it-" a novel idea. "I'm moving out"
@CharmandBrains: Every morning I wake up and every morning there is no breakfast in bed. We have got to do something about this level of poverty!
@jjhartinger: Some of you are acting like you got off a flight from Australia instead of losing one hour.