@TrueQuixote: I'm not a cyber-bully but I did change my WiFi network name to "I CAN SEE WHAT YOU ARE GOOGLING STEVE". Sleep well neighbor. Sleep well.
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@hansabumsadaisy: #rubbishjokes Watched all Star Wars movies back to back with my friend. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.
@LauraBenanti: I wore a leather jacket into a vegan restaurant and now I'm hiding in the bathroom.
@patrickmarkryan: Two drivers crash into each other. They both finish writing their texts before getting out of their cars to inspect the damage
@eric10F: Rappers are terrible with pets: the Baja Men let their dogs out, DMX never knows where his dogs are at, and Pitbull is awful.