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@wickedimproper: I'm not a doctor, but I play one on eHarmony.
@samalmightysam: Women have closets full of 'I have nothing to wear.'
@StevieKnip: Cop: Hey U!
U: who, me?
Cop: no the other 1!
1: who, me?
Cop: both of U!
W: who, us?
Cop: Yes you!
U: Who, me?
@GoldenSpirals: I'm sticking to my guns.
I really should have washed my hands after I ate.
@LoneWolfStories: Her: OMG! The holidays aren't an excuse to stuff your face with whatever edible that crosses your path.
Me: I eat like this everyday.
@MsCassieDaniels: A cat is the animal equivalent of the girl who hated you for no reason in high school.