@zoebread: im not a morning person. in the morning i am a goat
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@TaylorComedy: It's so annoying when you're trying to poison someone but they're just not thirsty :(
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Coworker: These heels are killing my feet but they're so cute. Me: These ugly Sketchers I'm wearing have insides made out of memory foam.
@ericacanrant: A scared look and a "let me go google that" is not what you want to hear from the gynecologist.