@ktmcburr: I'm not a racist. Racism is a crime and crime is for black people.
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@quikkim: *Approaches a guy reading "Catch Me If You Can"* I love that book. The way he just *clenches fist* catches all those freakin' cans.
@Soo_Scandalouss: I leave spider carcasses on the wall to make sure the other spiders understand..
@BoozeWallet: [at gym] me: [wiping down equipment after finishing with it] cute girl: you don't have to do that with the vending machine. are you crying