@ktmcburr: I'm not a racist. Racism is a crime and crime is for black people.
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@kellymcc0y: When someone spaces out their "ha ha ha's" in a text I read it in Count Dracula's voice
@Mikecanrant: Aardvarks aare so aanoying. Aalmost everything theyre aasociated with is aanoying. I get Aangry just thinking aabout them. Aalso Aarons.
@kcmoore51: 16: My friend is coming to get something while we're gone. Me: Should we leave a key? 16: No, she'll just go thru the doggie door again.