@OhYeahILied: "I'm not a violent person but people can change", I whisper as someone takes a bite of my food.
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@crabgirl_: *Date with a boy I dated when we went to kindergarden* *puts two big bowls of worms and mudwater on the table* Him-YUCK!!! Me-You've changed
@jnrbtsn: Based on the condition of my hair in the morning, I'd say there's a 100% chance my hair has more fun than I do when I sleep.
@timdonakowski: Someone needs to break it to my cat that she is not a security guard and my bathroom is not a VIP section.