@TravLeBlanc: I'm not a womanizer! They were all women when I found them!
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@SSDated: Me: *crawls in window* Him: What are you doing?! Me: You're my boyfriend now? Him: I'm calling the cops Me: But you retweeted me??
@EJGomez: angel of God: mary u shall give birth to the son of God himself & he shall be named Jesus & shall die on a cross mary: i have a boyfriend
@rockymomax: "i have good news & bad news" wife: bad news 1st "the washing machine broke" wife: and the good news? "the dogs are clean AF"