@TravLeBlanc: I'm not a womanizer! They were all women when I found them!
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@Tommytoughstuff: Dating tip: don't mention your time as a Boy Scout, let your sash full of badges do the talkin.
@dafloydsta: WIFE: Your heavy drinking is making you delusional ME: *turns to friend* Do you think that's true? WOLVERINE: Nah, don't listen to her
@WarrenHolstein: Don't cut yourselves 'cause Justin smokes pot, Beliebers. Cut yourselves 'cause you listen to Justin Bieber. (And aim for a major artery.)