@TravLeBlanc: I'm not a womanizer! They were all women when I found them!
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@DannyZuker: Just getting romantic with the wife when our slow cooker set off our smoke alarm so yes, I was crock blocked.
@mistakentweets: Texting...because men didn't have a hard enough time understanding women before so we had to take away the ability to convey tone.
@scorpicpanda: If I've learned one thing from watching horror movies, it's if you buy snacks from vending machines, you will die.