@carlyken: I'm not afraid of dying. I'm afraid of ending up in a nursing home with a roommate who has Justin Bieber posters and Twilight shirts.
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@reczit: I'm afraid of people who keep smiling all the time. I feel like they still have plenty of space left for more bodies in their basement.
@electrolemon: scarlet joe hanson sounds like an old timey boxer's name. "weighin' in at 182 lbs, 5'9", the ol' black widow, scarlet jooooooe hansen!"
@Playing_Dad: [On a date] *Don't let her know you're a dog* Girl: Do you want to...maybe go for a walk after this? *starts running in circles going crazy*