@joeljeffrey: I'm not afraid of identity theft. Go ahead and enjoy being broke and having my dad call you a failure.
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@CelebrityChez: Helpful tip: If you throw a baby at a tiger, I only recommend throwing a baby that you don't like.
@Douchekevin: I eat the free samples at Costco for lunch every day. I'm adding 'enjoys eating out' to my dating profile.
@Supafunkadunka: If your cat brings home a dead bird and presents it to you, don't be rude. Take a little bite.
@AimeeHelene1: *yells at husband* I can't make it fit! It won't fit! Him: Just turn it a little. Me: *screams in excitement* We finished the puzzle!!