@joeljeffrey: I'm not afraid of identity theft. Go ahead and enjoy being broke and having my dad call you a failure.
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@iSmashFizzle: Me: It's not illegal to be rude to cops. Them: Well, if you poke a bear, what do you expect? Me: That's why we don't make bears cops.
@JoParkerBear: It's always uncomfortable when someone says you might be their soulmate, and you have to tell them you don't have a soul.
@WritePlay: ME: I'VE BEEN SHOT TAYLOR SWIFT: Aw here are some band aids ME: THOSE DON'T FIX BULLETHOLES TS: *picks up guitar* ...brb ME: I'M STILL DYING