@CelebrityChez: I'm not afraid to admit that I'm not the sharpest elevator in the sea.
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@somecleverthing: Irrational fear 807: being spoken to by a comedian during their performance. I would die a thousand proverbial deaths and a single real one.
@donni: ME: Can I have the job please INTERVIEWER: I meant, like, questions ABOUT the job ME: Ah, yes. About the job: Can I have it
@Fred_Delicious: Me - "did Benjamin Button's pubes fall out or grow back inside his body?" Doctor - "no I meant what seems to be the problem with you"