@RocketRankoon: I'm not afraid to run into an ex here. Her tweets would be all lame like 'my dog is cute' and mine would be all cool like 'I love you Susan'
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@samalmightysam: I don't know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beers.
@turtledumplin: Cashier: would u like a bag? Me: no I'll just carry the economy box of pads & Midol out so whoever thinks of kidnapping me will think twice
@Darlainky: Winter can cause potentially deadly situations like icy roads, hypothermia, and the much feared man cold.