@AnniemuMary: I'm not an actress but I play one on the phone when the lady asks me if I have a pen to write down the confirmation code.
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@MamanyaDana: That awkward moment when I give a guy a fake phone number and he tries to call it in front of me.. #OhShiiiit
@Marlebean: Sometimes I lie and tell my husband I spent $300 at Costco so he'll stop talking to me.
@Ristolable: The downside to posting jokes all the time is that if I tweeted "Help, I am in an Iranian prison" everyone would be like "haha good one"