@_sanshandle: I'm not an animal expert but feeding your pet chimp Chinese food doesn't seem right. Then again, neither does owning a pet chimp.
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@themorris23: I wish I was as committed to anything the way infomercial actors are committed to over dramatizing their reaction to household chores.
@simoncholland: 1st week of school: sandwich cut in a cute shape, sliced fruit, encouraging note. Last week of school: handful of croutons wrapped in foil.
@iamspacegirl: God: *making Eve from Adam's rib* Adam: That's a weird way to make people God: Lol wait till you see how she does it