@_sanshandle: I'm not an animal expert but feeding your pet chimp Chinese food doesn't seem right. Then again, neither does owning a pet chimp.
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@causticbob: I dig, you dig, we dig, he digs, she digs, they dig. It's not a beautiful poem, but it's very deep.
@Jagershot901: Hot singles in your area want you to come over and load their dishwasher correctly.
@UncleDuke1969: Wife: It's date night! Me: So, a movie, and... You still have that school uniform? W: Yes. *winks* M: Maybe you can get a student discount.
@TheCattyLady: Got up at 6:30am today. Did some yoga. Had a protein shake. Ran six miles. Started lying about everything.