@astonoha: I'm NOT ashamed of my body. I worked hard for athletic build, healthy brown hair, 4 gorgeous legs, strong neck, big wet nose, clip clop feet
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@daemonic3: Your honor, may I approach the bench? Judge: You may *benches 200lbs in 3 sets of 20 reps* The defense rests
@XplodingUnicorn: My wife said she wanted to do it missionary style, so I forced her to change religions and gave her smallpox.
@murrman5: [tv interview] did you get upset? "that *beep* lied to me, she can go *beep* herself" don't do that. just curse and we will add the beeps
@QwertyJones3: "Welcome to another meeting of Horse Club. Let's try to actually get something done today. All in favor?" Crowd: "NEIGH!" "Jesus Christ."