@SavoirFail: I'm not asking questions for that friend anymore. Too embarrassing.
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@Storminika: You ever lied so much on a resume, you're actually shocked that they gave you the job? I mean look at me, do I look like an astronaut?
@DanMentos: [commercial] "This commercial is so confusing. I wish they would just tell us what they're selling" narrator: Narrators
@decentbirthday: Evil villain: You can run but you can't hide! Me: That's where you're wrong pal. *out of breath* I can't do either