@jazmasta: I'm not crying. I'm just watering my moustache.
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@undeadmolly: Not usually a big fan of God, but I have admit telling Cruz to run for president then making him lose to a reality TV clown was an A+ prank.
@_sanshandle: I'm not an animal expert but feeding your pet chimp Chinese food doesn't seem right. Then again, neither does owning a pet chimp.
@sucittaM: Accidentally triple-knotted my laces so I guess I'm wearing these shoes for the rest of my life.