@jazmasta: I'm not crying. I'm just watering my moustache.
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@Not_From_Troy: I did a survey and asked 5 women what kind of clothing brand they preferred. The 5 responded: "How the hell did you get into my house?"
@JasonLastname: Accidentally pronounced wifi as "wifey" and the hotel concierge said the password's helping out around the house and being a good listener.
@McMcmadmac: My mothers nearly 80 and she still doesn't need glasses. She drinks right out of the bottle!