@pakalupapito: i’m not “cute” awkward. i’m “what the hell is wrong with you” awkward.
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@donni: Choose a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life, because you'll never get that job.
@Junk_Boat: She told me she "literally died laughing," and that's when I realized she had to be a zombie and shot her in the face.
@Prero22: Person: It's not rocket science. Rocket science [wipes forehead and exhales] : Whew! Nearly got caught there.
@TheMichaelRock: Me: Someone broke into the business next door last night. Coworker: Wasn't the building alarmed? Me: Buildings don't get scared. CW.....