@pakalupapito: i’m not “cute” awkward. i’m “what the hell is wrong with you” awkward.
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@jonnysun: JUDGE: put ur hand on this book and promise not to lie PERSON WHO IS IN COURT LITERALY FOR LYING ABOUT THINGS: uh...... ok
@Donna_McCoy: Baby showers are fun until someone has too much champagne and starts a plastic knife fight over a corner piece of cake. I need a ride home.
@GMPaiella: The part of the Bible I relate to the most is when Jesus makes a scene at the farmers market
@brianbowman73: I heard you like bad boys? *jumps in pool after eating without waiting an hour* Sup.