@Jay1972Jay: I'm not fat. I'm famine proof.
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@michael_raphone: there's two types of people inthe world: cops who are a week from retirement and robbers who want to go straight but have to do one last job
@li4mst3w4rt: me: it's too hot *opens window* *in comes 305430 flies, 43866 spiders, 91193 moths, a serial killer, a paedophile and a burglar* (HELP)
@scorpicpanda: "You will regret this later" is not what to write in an engagement card, apparently.
@soulindivision2: I just want to meet my Doppelganger so I can kidnap them to experiment with hairstyles.