@Jay1972Jay: I'm not fat. I'm famine proof.
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@sploosk: my roofing company has gone bankrupt. I kept saying "this one's on the house" every time I finished a roof, how could i be so stupid
@themiltron: god: behold, my creatio-- people: some rocks are more important than others god: what? people: i would literally kill for the yellow rock
@AnOrangeSNES: "Honey the baby is crowning!" *Lifts up hospital gown* "Well excuse me YOUR MAJESTY!"