@laurajennyjo: I'm not going to intervene next time my kids start fighting, I'm just going to close the door and whoever comes out alive will be my kid
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@girl_a_whirl: Mr & Mrs Smith is my favorite movie about how trying to kill your spouse & demolishing your house can bring the magic back to your marriage
@longwall26: I like microwaves that spin the food around because I'm all, oh yeah, hot pocket, looking good, girl, from the front AND the back uh huh.
@notalogin: Sportscenter, episode 542783747363467367984768474756431063389425993399064375493638386747899532689432462567953467347: Men talking animatedly.
@RhiannonOcean: Ok people, I think the big take away from 2016 is that it's really bad luck to start the year by shooting a gorilla