@GaryJanetti: "I'm not good at goodbyes." I am. See ya.
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@GrowlyGrego: Choose your own adventure: S O F A T H E R E Y E S P O P Dad sees a soda? Moving a couch for dad? Obese girl with a vision problem?
@KeetPotato: [my first day hosting shopping channel] "for those of you who love coconut, boy do we have a product for you" [holds up a coconut]
@AnOrangeSNES: CHEMIST: Do you like science jokes? I think they're so HER: No CHEMIST: very funny HER: Thought you were gonna say sodium funny CHEMIST: Na
@LurkAtHomeMom: The shortest amount of time known to man is what scientists call a "sundae second." It refers to the period of time between when your child says he is too full to finish dinner and when he asks for ice cream.