@TrolleyCat: I'm not helping to save the environment until bears let me ride them around like cars. It's a group effort, bears.
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@WilliamAder: We have a local weatherman who often forecasts "changeable skies." He makes a lot of money to make that call.
@_davidlucas_: The shortest distance between two points is over a cyclist. ~Australian drivers, apparently.
@LOsepyan: If those Amazon drones can really get to your house in 30 minutes then condoms are about to become their #1 selling item.
@Brampersandon_: I was pretty nervous doing stand-up in front of a bunch of nudists but then I imagined the crowd in their underwear and it helped so much.