@TrolleyCat: I'm not helping to save the environment until bears let me ride them around like cars. It's a group effort, bears.
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@BadJordon: Ruin a hipster's day by telling them how commercial you think their favorite band has become.
@markleggett: Fired from my court room sketch artist job, for putting thought bubbles on people's heads saying "The court room sketch artist is so hunky."
@LurkAtHomeMom: People who aren't entombed in 8 feet of snow, what's it like to live in a tropical paradise?