@Cali_Kid_Mike: I'm not into anything "weird", but this vacuum at Target looks like a total VILF.
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@DurtMcHurtt: My grandma was so poor she only left me recipes for pasta dishes in her will, you could say she was my.. *golf swings* Pennefactor.
@thatdutchperson: Me: sorry I can't go to the farmer's market with you. Allergies. Friend: pollen? Me: hipsters.
@Grind_n_Roll: I don't like dictatorships. All dictators should be shot, and if anybody disagrees with me, they should be shot as well.
@internetluke: [Jaden Smith at aquarium] "...any questions?" Do Crabs Think Fish Can Fly? "No" What If Our Air Is Just Bird Water? "Huh" How Can Birds Be R